Al Veoli: The Holiday Special

Dear Al Veoli:

My boyfriend of 2 years says I never compliment him. He always compliments me. How do I do this without sounding stupid, especially during the holidays?

-Laud-Less

Dear Laud-Less:

You're right if you're implying that there is lots of empty praise going around during the holiday season. But there is also lots of legitimate, heartfelt laudatory expression, and this is what you need. It shouldn't be hard to compliment your boyfriend. Just think about what you enjoy in him as a partner. Maybe it's the way he wears his tie, irons his pants, or scuffs his jeans. Maybe it's the way he doesn't shave on Saturdays and he's a bit scruffy. Maybe it's the molten chocolate cake he makes you for your birthday, that's really delicious. You don't have to make up something gratuitous--just consider why you're with him and go from there.

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Dear Al Veoli:

I have a dilemma. I'm getting married over Christmas and am not sure who should be my best man. I have a brother I'm close with, a best friend, and a 5 year old son. Please advise!

-Good Better Best

Dear Good Better Best:

Often these decisions over who should be maid of honor or best man become fraught with way too much emotion, resentment, etc. My suggestion is to have all of them up there with you and call them the collective best man. That way your brother and best friend share the honor, and I'm sure they're happy to have your little son participate (that is, if they're mature adults). A wedding should be a terrific celebration that doesn't get weighed down by stress or petty concerns, so just enjoy it!

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Dear Al Veoli:

I always send my niece and nephew great presents and they're NEVER acknowledged by either of them. Not even the parents acknowledge the gift. What should I do?

-Tired of Gifting

Dear Tired of Gifting:

As hard as it may be, don't send them presents this year. If your thoughtfulness has never been acknowledged, it's time to recognize that, and not make that effort anymore. Perhaps they'll realize their selfish ways, or perhaps they'll complain about not getting presents. Either way it will probably give you opportunity for discussing the issue and their rude behavior. Just because they're inconsiderate doesn't mean you have to play that game.

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Al looks forward to hearing from you!